


Never Again

by Pwrites



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartache, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Pain, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:47:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26353651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pwrites/pseuds/Pwrites
Summary: Tohru reflects on the past few months and how her emotions have been building up inside. Her break of character during the play forces her to deal with her growing feeling for Kyo."His face. His face said it all and it scared her. Could he? Would he? The questions and emotions were all too real."Takes place during episode 23 of season 2. Oneshot.
Relationships: Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	Never Again

She had a hard time admitting the truth to herself. Ever since she was young she clung to ignorance and doubt to keep her sane. A part of her knew the truth but it was easier to hide from it. When her mother died and she had nowhere to go, she smiled at those around her as if that smile was the only thing keeping her from falling apart. People would look at her with pity in their eyes, offering weak attempts at help. Tohru wondered if people would do the same once they noticed how she looked at him.

Tohru had felt a connection to Kyo the moment she met him. His dark orange eyes were unusual and his personality was captivating. She couldn’t help but find him attractive. As they grew closer as friends, she began to gravitate to Kyo whenever they walked together. Even when she had Yuki’s attention she couldn’t help but wish Kyo was the one by her side. She would suppress those feelings with the idea that she liked Kyo more because she loved the cat from the old zodiac story. Her mother would tell her that story every night because it was Tohru’s favorite. That had to be why her eyes seemed to wonder to him.

When she chased after him that rainy night, she concluded that she didn’t want to lose a cherished friend. It was not because her feelings for him had grown so much since the first day they met. She could not lose a friend. She could not lose him.

However, innocence could only be driven so far. Kyo’s attitude seemed to shift when he was with her. The boy that could barely stand next to her without moving around was now relaxed at her side. His light touches and sudden glances brought heat to her cheeks. Yet, she did not even think to consider it as anything more than friendship.

All that uncertainty and deflection broke the moment Rin asked her a question.

“What is it that you can’t give up?”

Tohru’s heart stopped for a moment hearing the words out loud. She froze in place struggling to give Rin an answer. The image of Kyo's face flashed through her mind before hiding behind the sweet memories of her mother. Why did she want to break the curse so badly? She did not try until she learned about him, about his fate.

Luckily Rin did not push her on the subject and they changed to a different topic. However, the sudden pain in Tohru’s heart lingered. She began to focus on his reactions to her. She thought about every interaction they had and how he would tease her so easily. Anyone who watched them would think they were flirting. It couldn’t possibly be that.

Tohru realized that the pain in her heart was familiar. When a girl from another class confessed to him she did not know how to feel. Her friends were making jokes about it. Arisa ran to get a good view of the event unfolding. That was the first time Tohru had felt that pain in her heart. It was just for a moment after Yuki let Tohru know that Kyo would reject the girl’s feelings. It made the feeling go away and made her feel light, happy even. Tohru felt guilty for being happy for another’s pain. She did not wish the girl to be rejected yet she could not help but want Kyo to do just that.

Her heart stopped again when he finally returned to the classroom. She was so excited to tell him about the new script. It was perfect for Kyo since he would be able to be himself. It also helped her not be so mean to Hana. As she was rambling on about the changes, he grew closer. Tohru stopped and held her breath as his face lingered on her shoulder. He rested his head making her skin feel hot. Once he took the script away and left the room her chest almost burst. She had to calm down quickly or he would ask about her red face.

Kyo had never been so close before. She was just not used to it. That’s all it was. That’s all it could be.

The morning of the play brought the perfect amount of distractions for Tohru. Her classmates were buzzing with energy which made her even more excited. Tohru feared that she would forget her lines and was thankful that Yuki was there to keep her calm. She couldn’t help but look across the room to where Kyo stood. He was talking with his friends and they seemed to be giving him a hard time. Kyo’s eyes met hers for a moment before she smiled and looked away.

“Hello, my darlings. It is time to change into your beautiful costumes. Especially, you Yuki!” Ayame slid into the room elegantly. His hands clapped together to get the attention of the students. Everyone began to collect their costumes and walk to the restrooms to change.

“Calm down. It is not that grand.” Yuki mumbled to himself before picking up his costume and leaving the classroom. Tohru couldn’t help but smile at his bashfulness when it came to Ayame’s praise. She was glad that their relationship had improved.

Hana insisted on preparing Tohru's hair after changing into her costume. The dress was very cute and had the Ayame touch that Tohru loved so much.

“This dress is so beautiful but nothing compared to your's Hana-chan.” Tohru smiled at Hana through the mirror.

“I think you look beautiful Tohru even without the dress.” Hana quietly finished Tohru’s hair and left the bathroom to look for a snack before the play.

Tohru took a deep breath before exiting the bathroom. She turned to the left and felt two hands extend out to her. She closed her eyes expecting to bump into the person in front of her. However, instead, she heard a lough familiar sigh. She opened her eyes to see Kyo and her heart dropped.

“I am so sorry Kyo. I should have looked at where I was going, you could have…” Tohru felt embarrassed for almost causing Kyo to transform and also ashamed that her eyes wouldn’t stop looking him up in down. He was decked out in his prince costume. They even gave him an attachable ponytail. He looked dangerously handsome.

“Don’t worry about it just watch out next time. You always space out.” Kyo’s eyes felt like a heat lamp as they also looked at her costume. His expression was unreadable which made Tohru worried about her appearance.

“You look handsome Kyo-kun.” Tohru wanted to cover her mouth with her hands and run for the hills. How did that slip out so easily? She kept her hands still and clasped together in front of her. She kept her smile strong even though she felt the sweat begin to fall on the back of her neck.

“Oh.” Kyo looked as if he was caught off guard. He turned his face away and covered his mouth slightly. Tohru wondered if she embarrassed him. The overwhelming feeling of regret continued to grow and she knew she would not be able to stay strong for long.

“I should get going and practice my lines more. I will see you later.” Tohru turned quickly ready to book it to the end of the hall when a hand grabbed for her arm. She turned slowly to see Kyo looking down at her. His cheeks were slightly red and his gaze turned to the wall beside them.

“Wait. You uh, look good too.” Kyo’s voice was barely loud enough but she heard him clearly. Tohru's heart began to race and she had to answer quickly before her heart felt that discomfort once more.

“Thank you Kyo-kun. I will see you at the play.” Tohru smiled before turning around once more and heading towards the classroom. She could hear her heartbeat this time. The thumping was the only thing louder than the students around her. He was being polite nothing more. Two friends complimenting each other’s costumes.

Once the audience applauded and the curtain was closed she rushed to the classroom. She heard Arisa call her name but did not respond. Tohru would have to apologize later, all she could think about was forgetting her lines and speaking out of turn. Tohru did not realize until the play how much those lines rang true to Kyo’s situation. She saw how he reacted and how he thought no one would care if he was locked away. The pain was too much to bear. Tohru had to speak out. It was as if she could see Kyo disappearing into the cage in front of her.

His face. His face said it all and it scared her. Could he? Would he? The questions and emotions were all too real. Tohru finally made it to the classroom. Since the play had just ended no one was in the room. She did her best to catch her breath and slid down to the floor. She took a moment to ease her breathing but was interrupted by a flow of tears. Tohru covered her face and let out a deep sob.

She would admit it to herself, just once. If she said it out loud one time then she could bury it once more. This overwhelming feeling that covered her heart like a spider’s web.

“I love Kyo-kun, so much. I love you.” Tohru’s confession was met to empty chairs and silent air. Yet, it gave her the release she needed to finally breathe. Every time he smiled and teased her was another silk thread that was added to the web over her heart. He could make her feel like the only girl in the world one moment and a stranger in the next. She knew he was not trying to hurt her. Yet, on rainy days and those where he was reminded of his reality is when she wished she could embrace him the most. He was so kind, so loving. He deserved to live a wonderful life. A life that she so desperately wanted to share with him.

“This hurts so much. I love you. I love you.” Tohru felt her breath quicken as more tears tarnished her costume. Her hands were shaking with adrenaline. She would need to get herself together and move to the bathroom. He did not return her feelings. He couldn’t. He was just being nice to her cause they lived together.

Yes. He did not love her. He cared for her as a friend, similar to Yuki. They were all her friends. After graduation, they would part ways. A new blast of pain touched her heart at the thought. The image of Kyo’s face behind a cage caused her eyes to sting even more. She had to find a way to break the curse for Kyo. That way he could live his life even if it was without her but she prayed to God she could still be in it.

The sound of the bell woke her to her reality. She quickly left the classroom and rushed to the bathroom. No one could see her like this. She needed one more moment to put her feelings back into their box.

When she saw him again, she was in a better place. He acted normal like she had not made a scene during the play. Tohru was thankful but could feel something shift between them. They were awkward. She hoped that no one would point it out. He told her about how Shisho-san saw the play and how Haru had set the whole thing up. She smiled and listened to his story but couldn’t help the thought in the back of her head.

“I won’t let myself think about it. Not ever again.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have been waiting for this episode for years and my expectations were exceeded. The longing looks, the blushing, all of it kills me and the fact that we will have to wait till season 3 for more. 
> 
> I got this idea from my own way of dealing with feelings and emotions. Sometimes you need to let it out to a empty room especially when they are so close yet so far.
> 
> Anyways let me know what you think!  
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
